The morning after the night before May 24, 2009

We went out last night to a friend that I have lost touch with over the years. It is a long complicated story, but we are all trying to mend what was broken.

It is so funny, but as we sat there last night I was thinking to myself how it seemed exactly the way it always was. Isn’t that the greatest thing about some friends? How you can see them so rarely, but when you do, it’s as though all the years of apartness disappear.

We laughed about old times, we drank wine and ate nachos and all was good.

I am grateful that old hatchetts have been buried and all has been forgiven. It makes life so much smoother.

Kayden was another story last night. My baby boy loves.his.own.bed
end of story. And no amount of bribery, threats and other forms of persuasion will convince him to sleep anywhere else. I am a very strict routine mommy, and 8 o’ clock is wind down time, and 8:30pm is bed. 9:00pm last night he was still going strong! I put him down on my friends bed in an attempt to get him to sleep. He eventually fell asleep, but he wasn’t happy about it. He moaned and talked in his sleep, and was generally an unhappy chappy.

At 11:00pm we left to go home (literally 2 complexes away) and he woke up in the car. I carried him to his bed and he snuggled up to his teddies and that was the last I heard of him till 7:30 this morning.

He loves the familiar, and is comforted by his own surroundings. I think he must get that from me. I dislike change and I thrive on routine. Obviously I am able to adjust if I have to, but generally I like things to stay the same. Which is a bit odd, considering that I am always moaning that we never do anything spontaneous! Go figures. I am a bit of an enigma 🙂

C is off to church now, so K and I normally use this time to go to the mall and get some lunch and just chill together, but I haven’t been paid yet, so that isn’t happening this morning! I sometimes always wish that I had an endless supply of money, but then again ~ who doesn’t?

Today, I am happy and content and looking forward to the last day of weekend with my family.

Have a happy Sunday!

xx

7am and all is quiet around the house May 23, 2009

I love this time of the morning. I have always been a morning person. My head is clear, I haven’t had time to get pissed off at anyone, and the day just seems alive with opportunity.

I don’t know where this post is going, so it may seem a bit incoherent and rambling, but that’s ok too…

My beautiful sweet Kayden, who slept in my bed for 18 months, had finally started sleeping through the night! (He will be 3 in September). I can’t tell you what a difference this has made in my life. For the first time since I was about 4 months pregnant, I am getting a full night sleep. I feel wonderful!

All this being said and done; I am broody. YES folks, I would gladly give up my sleep again just to hear that little cry in the middle of the night!

Kayden is getting so big now, I feel like he doesn’t need me anymore. He undresses himself for the bath, gets in himself, goes to the toilet by himself, helps himself to stuff in the fridge ~ he is getting big.

I.am.not.needed.anymore

For a few months I went off the pill, for medical reasons. Every month I hoped that we would’ve slipped up, that I would’ve calculated my cycle wrong, and that I would fall pregnant. Obviously I didn’t, and I am now back on the pill and the chances of an accident happening now are slim.

That doesn’t stop me from PingOAS (peeing on a stick). Every slight symptom, and I am convinced that I am indeed with child.

I realise that this would be somewhat of a disaster at the moment, considering our financial situation, but I can’t help myself.

I desperately want to have my husbands child. THERE, I said it out loud, well sort of….

I want to show him the pregnancy test and watch his face light up. I want him to rub my belly and talk to the baby and be excited with me. I want to fight over baby names and guess what gender it will be. I want him to go with me to the scans and cry when he sees what a miracle we have created together.

You see, although I already have a child, all the above would be a first for me too. I went through my entire pregnancy by myself. Obviously my family were there, but I felt as though something was missing. I chose the name myself, my sister or my mother went with to the scans and I am PISSED off about that. I know that I am not the only single mom, and I am partly to blame for the situation that I found myself in, but I think that I also deserve to have the happy ever after.

I don’t want to feel like this anymore, and I think (however naive) that having another baby will solve that.

You see, K’s dad is having another baby. With his wife. And I am jealous. And I am sad. This will make 3 children for him. And he is experiencing all this pregnancy stuff for the first time. I am so happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but I am sad for me also. And I am sad for my son. He never got to feel the love of his father while he was still growing in my tummy.

I don’t ever want to go through that again.

I want another baby.

But I can’t have one till we are out of debt.

That makes me so sad.

I WILL get over it, I always do. But for today, I am sad. I want something that I can’t have and it hurts.

xx

Thankful Thursday May 21, 2009

• For my beautiful blog
• For getting my credit card statement and seeing that all our Con’s hard work is paying off
• For Rice Crispies (Man, I lurve them)
• For the weird weather Cape Town is having at the moment
• For Banda who is cleaning my house so nicely
• For my lovely family ~ including parents, siblings, nieces, nephews and in-laws
• For having a gorgeous home and food for our tummies

and finally:

• For GREY’S ANATOMY.

I finished watching season 5 last night, and I am already suffering withdrawal 😦

Oh well, comment with what you are thankful for!

xx

Let’s Play Catch-Up May 20, 2009

I am such a bad blogger lately. I just can’t seem to find the time to do it. I obviously can’t do it at wrork, and when I get home, my time is so demanded by K and C, that when I eventually get some time to myself I just want to sleep!

It’s been nearly a week since I last posted, so I will play catch-up quickly to get everyone up to date.

Friday: I had the day off work to spend with K at his school. There was a mothers day thing on there. It was nice (I couldn’t be bothered to find a better adjective) I would consider myself a good mother, but I am not one of “those” mothers. My life does not begin and end with Kayden. I love him to death, but it’s everyone else’s children I am not particularly keen on. His classroom is tiny, and there were about 14 kids and their moms there! It was chaos. They did art, they sang ~ it was all very sweet, and I got a bit teary-eyed at one point. Things were going well till the mom’s all went outside to have tea. My monster promptly started crying and set them all off! I couldn’t wait to get outta there. The cake table was laden with delicious goodies, but I only had a scone because all the mom’s are skinny, and I couldn’t bring myself to eat in front of them. All I really wanted to do wash shovel piece after piece of chocolate cake in my mouth. Thankfully, dignity prevailed. I managed to make it to about 10:30am, then we both left to have a nap. K went to his dad for the weekend, so C and I just chilled the whole weekend.

We went to see Angels and Demons on Friday night which was awesome! I really enjoyed it.

On Saturday night it was Chan’s birthday party. It had a “P” theme, so you had to dress up as something starting with a p. I went as Pippi Long Stockings and C went as Pi 🙂 It was a really awesome night, even though the storm was raging outside. I will post some pics later. I had a bit of a babbelas the next morning, and we slept till 9:45am! What bliss!

We went to fetch our Kaydie from his dad at 12, and came home and chilled!

The week has been ok so far, work, work, work. Nothing much to report I’m afraid.

I am busy watching the last few episodes of Greys (thanks Cam!), and it is really emotional. I watched 4 eps last night, and I cried through all of them. I went to bed at 11pm and cried myself to sleep. I only have 2 eps left and I can’t WAIT to watch them, but I am also a bit sad that it is finished for now. Not sure when the new season is starting in America. I will have to find something else to obssess over!

I am off to wake up the boy now, and dump him in the bath. Just fish fingers and chips tonight ~ I am not in the mood to cook!

Will post Thankful Thursday tomorrow!

Much love

xx

Stick Figure Family

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Trip down Memory Lane May 14, 2009

I am busy chatting to a friend on Facebook, and we are taking a trip down memory lane.

We went to college together (you know back in the day when I was all set out to be a teacher), and we had the most awesome times together.

We actually weren’t that close in college, but I dropped out after the first year because Jaco, my first love, died of meningitis. It was obviously a really devastating time for me and my friends were all fantastic. Louise stayed in the background and after about 6 months she told me that enough was enough and we were going out to get drunk. Maybe not the best idea, but I can honestly say that she prevented me from falling into a serious depression.

Enough of all the soppiness though. We had the most wicked times together and a few stand out in particular.

We were lying in her bed one night, her mom was away (Overseas I think). We weren’t in the mood to party and so we went to the shops and each got a huge bag of Doritos and chatted. We were both slightly overweight at the time and the conversation went something like this:

Lou: I love Doritos

Me: Me too

Lou: You know those enormous women that they have to cut the roof off their houses and lift them out with a crane?

Me: Ja?

Lou: I think this is how it starts…..

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I am now triple the size I was then, and Lou is skinnier – bitch 🙂

Another lovely one is a guy she was seeing actually asked her the following just prior to some rumpy pumpy:

Dude: Can I give you pleasure? in a totally Fabio-like accent

I swear on all things holy, we STILL laugh about that EVERY time we talk.

One more story, then I am off to bed.

I got ridiculously drunk one night and I realised that I was not capable of driving home – that task was left up to Lou – who couldn’t drive, and who was also slightly intoxicated. She drove the whole way home from the club in 1st gear (about 4kms!) Then promptly hit a bush or something when we got to the house.

Man, I love that chick. There are so many more stories, but I fear I cannot tell those because I have a suspicion that the partied involved might actually read this blog and I really don’t want them to find out!

I have the day off work tomorrow to go to the mothers day show at K’s school. Bless their little hearts.

Much love

xx

Guilty May 13, 2009

So many of the blogs I follow are by women who are really struggling to fall pregnant. I mean spending $15000 on IVF and then to have it fail anyway.

My best friend has PCOS, and has been struggling for a long to time to have a baby. She fell pregnant last year, but sadly she lost the baby after a few weeks.

I feel guilty that all these women so desperately want what I have: The chance to hear someone call you mom; to have their sweet little lips kiss you goodnight; and to have them say, “I love you mom”.

Every day I read about these women and their losses, and I grieve along with them. Some may say that I get too involved in their lives, and they may be right. But I keep holding out for that one post every now and again who get it right, those who actually end up with babies in their arms at the end of a full term pregnancy and that makes it all worthwhile.

So for today, I am going to ask you to remember all those women in your prayers tonight, Even though they may be jealous of me for what I have, I know in my heart that I wish EVERY deserving woman out there will know the joy of being a mother.

I am going to go home now and kiss my baby, and tell him that I love him. Because even though being a mom is the hardest job in the world, I am so eternally grateful for the privilege of being this souls mother:

Rest in Peace Baby Kayleigh May 12, 2009

You will be missed angel girl.

Anyone who reads this, please remember baby Kayleigh and her family in your prayers tonight.

My heart is aching for these parents.

Kayleigh, I am glad that you are finally at peace and I believe in my heart that you will meet your family again.

Much love

xx

I’m BACK!! May 11, 2009

I know, I know……

I am not going to give myself grief about my absence though. So without further ado, I give you a day in the life of: (in bullet form, because I so love my bullets!)

• Wake up at 6am with a toddler-sized finger up my nose, all while he is shouting, “Way up mommy”, and trying to prise my eyes open
• Get up and make both beds
• Get myself and said toddler dressed
• Make breakfast for K
• Make breakfast for me (smoothie = lots of prep work)
• Pack bags with lunches made night before
• Feed K his brekkie
• Wash dishes
• Tidy lounge
• Pack away my laptop for work
• Drag K away from the T.V
• Drag K, plus all four bags and laptop towards the car
• Put all four bags and K into the car
• Run back into the house to check that the stove is off (WTF)
• Get into the car and start to leave the driveway when K needs to wee….
• Let him wee on the driveway
• Check the post
• Drive to school
• Get to school at 7:50am
• Take K into school and leave him screaming (he really loves it though – promise)
• Leave for work
• Get to work at 8:15
• Do boring exciting work stuff till 2:30pm
• Fetch K, get home at 3:00pm
• He fell asleep in the car, so I take him out and put him into bed
• Go back to the car to get all the bags
• Get into the house and unpack all the bags
• Wash the breakfast dishes and the lunch boxes
• Put on a load of washing
• Bring in a load of dry washing
• Hang up another load of washing
• Decide to tumbledry above washing due to the big, black clouds outside
• Quickly throw together lovingly prepare a roast chicken dinner (including peeling all the potatoes) and put it in the oven
• Decide to wash the washing machine with bicarb coz it is smelling a bit bad
• Have a 2.5 minute shower, during which I did a half-assed job at shaving my legs just on the off chance that I am not too tired for a bit of nookie tonight
• Get out of shower, check on supper
• Attempt number 1 at waking Kayden up (not even Shark Tale is working)
• Think about eating a huge bowl of ice-cream
• Decide against it
• Finally sit down to do my favourite thing – BLOG

Ah, what bliss. 5 minutes of pure heaven. This too will be short-lived though. I can here Mr K stirring, the rice is about to boil over and I have to drag my fat-ass down to the station now to fetch the husband. Oh, and I still have to bath K. Not to mention that he will probably be up till 9pm due to his late afternoon sleep.

Oh well…..

And as for Mothers-Day…. every day is Mothers Day in this house, and that is just the way I love it.

Lovies

xx

Bad Blogger! May 7, 2009

Bad, bad blogger.
I will give myself a severe talking to about this slacking behaviour.
But, in my defense, work has been CRAZY!

Just a quick update if anyone was wondering where I was!

I will post Wordless Wednesday and Thankful Thursday later this afternoon, or this evening.

Lots of lovies.

xx